ILLNESS

We were having a family discussion about being sick and how everyone behaved when they were the sick ones. Both our kids and all their kids were here during spring break one year, and everyone but me had a stomach/bowel thing. So, we were discussing  how each of us deal with sickness. I said, "No one looks after me or brings me drinks or pampers me when I am sick." They all responded with, "That's because you're always so miserable and grumpy when you're sick." It was true. I am miserable and grumpy. But to my defense, I am longing for someone to pamper me and tuck me in with some kindness. And in times of great stress, the pain in my back was so great that I barely could crawl into my bed in tears. I once asked if someone could tuck Gramma into bed. Our six year old granddaughter came up, tucked me in, lay beside me for snuggles and sang to me. It made me cry.

Ken has a low tolerance of pain. He seldom misses a day of work, but goes out to do the chores anyway, then back into bed to get better. He was prone to upper respiratory infections and had his tonsils out at the age of 29. He is quite the baby and expects me to bring him his medicine, and a drink, and a water bottle and extra blankets and for goodness sake, don't flirt with him, but I always did. It made him laugh because he knew I was not serious and he had no intention of responding. I did not tell the kids all that. But laugher can be good medicine, even if it hurts. 

As a mother and grandmother, I catered to all the children, took them to doctors, bought the medicine and popsicles, tucked them in, sang them songs, cleaned up the vomit. Yet, one morning about 30 years ago, when I got up early to go to the barn to milk the cows, I had a sudden, unexpected episode of vertigo, fell down, and threw up. I had asked each of my teenaged children to go to the barn in my place. It was a school day. I was told I had to clean up the mess myself since I missed the toilet which was 3 rooms away downstairs. 

As we stay married for more than 50 years, we need to know how we respond to regular sickness and how our spouse responds also. After all, we did vow to love, honor, cherish and be faithful for richer, poorer, in sickness and in health, as long as we both shall live. 

Long term illness has a whole different way of changing our lives. I had lived with chronic back pain most of my adult life. I milked cows alongside my husband for 18 of those years with constant pain in my groin. Medication helped to a point. I eventually retired from working in the barn and he hired several people to take my place. Recently, he came begging me to forgive him for his insensitive attitude towards this. He had pulled a groin muscle and came to the realization of what I had been dealing with all those years. Interesting that when I retired, that pain retired also. 

A happy heart is good medicine, but low spirits sap one's strength (Prov 17:22 CIB).