We recently celebrated our 52nd wedding anniversary. Imagine - 50+ years married to the same person. And yet, we are not the same hot-blooded, young people today that we were 52 years ago when we met, fell in love, got married, and embarked on the greatest adventure of life - together. As the years came and went, we both grew up and have changed in so many ways.
Most people
in the early years of passion, think that they have found “the one” and that
marriage would be their “happily ever after”. Well, have I got news for you,
dear readers. The happily can come – but often after a lot of other things.
Life is filled with awe and wonder, and joys as well as sorrows, disappointments and failures – gold refined by fire. If we “fall” in love, what do we do when we hit bottom since that is the direction of a fall?
We were two
naïve nineteen-year-olds beginning a journey of life together. We have learned so
many things in the 52 years we have been together. About each other. But mostly
about ourselves.
In order to
stay married for 50+ years, you have to first get married. None of this living
together to see if it works. Then you have to stay married. And, you have to
live that long to reach that goal. If something doesn’t work, then change it.
Not change your spouse or find another one. Change yourself.
We were
married for more than forty years when it occurred to me that we could
celebrate 50 years and beyond. We did not get married with the goal of
celebrating 50 years. We got married so we could have sex.
This is an alphabetical glimpse of a lifetime of memories suggesting 26 things that contribute to a happily-ever-after marriage.
Narrowing it down to 26 was a challenge. Just like there is no “one thing” that
causes a marriage to end, there is no “one thing” that creates a long-term
marriage. Life together is made up of a lot of little things, everyday things, happy things, messy things, year in and year out, that contribute to a lasting marriage.
Feel free to add your comments for each letter. This is going to be an exciting adventure. Are you ready?
----------------------
Doctor Christina Forster has been married to Ken, her Farmer Sweetie, for 53 years. Both are retired from their multi-generational, high profile Maplehurst Dairy Farm in Southern Ontario Canada and now enjoy travel together and grandparenting.
Chris has been blogging at Quilting at the Farm for 10 years engaging with quilters around the world. She holds a Master of Theological Studies and a Doctor of Ministry Christian Counseling. One of her passions is to see marriages restored by husbands and wives receiving healing of the heart, mind and spirit. This is done by allowing God to speak into painful memories through the finished work of Jesus Christ on the cross in the power of the Holy Spirit. She has published one book Denine: One mother's journey with a profoundly handicapped child and has several others in process.
Congratulations! You now have a new place to share messages of Jesus Christ and marriage and other wonderful things. You have a new place to write and publish as well.
ReplyDeleteIn less than a month we will be celebrating our 51st anniversary. I'd say it runs in the family, my sis this year is married 57 years, brother 56 years and other sis is 47 years. We just don't give up easy, in spite of difficulties. I'm sure they too have had anger, tears, resentment, feelings of abandonment for some hobby the other has that takes them away from you. When we were first married, I was jealous of his work! I am thankful for a companion/friend that we have become, someone that I do not have to adjust to the Someone New that others choose instead of working things out. In spite of a few years difference, we brought each other up. Yes, we each still struggle with our selfishness, but there sure is love and kindness. I learned long ago that yelling only gave me a headache, and never solved anything.
ReplyDelete